3 hours, slow motion

Man: Excuse me, can you please tell me how to get to the train station from here?
Woman: Yes, but I’m afraid it’s about three hours walk slow motion – that way.
Man: What if I walk at a normal pace?
Woman: In that case, it’s about three minutes. You’ll see it on your left.
Man: Thank you.

Latex Terms

Ben: Let me put it into latex terms for you. When the conveyer belt turns around it…
Harry: Woah, woah, hang on. Did you just say latex terms?
Ben: Yeah, let me put it into latex terms.
Harry: Right, just checking. Please continue.
Ben: So as I was saying the conveyer belt…

Scissors

[a large pair of scissors runs around in the backyard carrying a small boy in between each scissor]
Mother: Duncan! Didn’t I tell you, don’t run with humans!
Duncan: Sorry mum!

(Cat) Black comedy at the Fringe!

CBposterSSD72 (Cat) Black comedy at the Fringe!

“CAT BLACK” TO PREMIERE AT THE FRINGE!
Directed by Peter Hosking.
Starring Šárka VaculÍková, Stu Mentha, and Derek Dimir.

SUMMARY:
Cat Black is a new comedy from the creators of Déjà Vu and False Friends. Set in the near-distant future, a grieving neuroscientist transfers the consciousness of his beloved pet cat Tinkerbell into the body of his dead wife. However, Tinkerbell turns out to be an edgy avant-garde visual artist with a mind of her own. Will their love prevail?

‘extraordinary… superbly witty… brilliant.’ (FringeReview.co.uk, False Friends, Prague).

After back to back sell-out shows in 2012 (Déjà Vu) and 2013 (False Friends), playwright Stu Mentha and fellow Australian director, Peter Hosking, have teamed up again to deliver a brand new original comedy at the Prague Fringe Festival 2014. This time it’s a little twisted, to say the least!

In 2012 a group of renowned neuroscientists, neuropharmacologists, and cognitive scientists signed a declaration announcing that human and animal consciousness is the same. Cat Black asks the question: if consciousness is a universal trait, then what goes on in the mind of a cat? Can all animals fall in love?

Fast forward to 2075 and scientists are able to prevent death by “leap frogging” human consciousness to duplicate printed bodies. That’s if you can afford it of course. When Charlie Thomas, a respected neuroscientist and professor at Charles University, loses his wife, Fiona, to a rare illness, it seems the only things worth living for are his best friend, Nathan, and his pet cat Tinkerbell. But when fate deals another crippling blow, Charlie is forced to make a drastic choice – disobey his wife’s dying wishes, or lose everything he ever owned and loved?

Contains some coarse language, in English with Czech surtitles.

Where: Divadlo Kampa, Nosticova 2a, Mala? Strana, Praha 1
When: 23.5 – 26.5. 20:00 – 21:00, 27.5. 23:00 – 24:00
Partners: Supported by CANZA.
Tickets via Ticketstream or at the door.

Book tickets:

http://www.ticketstream.cz/booker/performance/fringe/319043-Theatre-Kampa-Cat-BlackKocka-cernaFRINGE-FESTIVAL-PRAHA-2014-p319043.html

Facebook event:

https://www.facebook.com/events/571859316246540/

My official FB page:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stu-Mentha-Official/150582894976628

What more could you want?

Greg: A cold beer and the footy, what more could you want?

James: Happiness, love, money, fame, glory, world peace, bliss, true contentment, spiritual fulfilment, a healthy sex life, a sense of belonging, a deeper understanding of the universe, a feeling like you will never have to ask another question again, an acceptance of your fate, an acceptance of the universe, a superpower, the ability to fly, to read minds, a frequent flyer card full of points…?

Greg: Pass me the bottle opener will ya?

James: Too easy.

Living in the Future

Nick: Wanna check out my new robotic vacuum cleaner?
Matt: Yeah Nick, looks great. How does it work? Does it get caught on stuff?
Nick: It remembers where it’s been, but yeah, sometimes it gets caught in a corner. Kinda funny. Yeah, you know, pretty soon we’ll be living in the future.
Matt: Nick, that doesn’t make sense.
Nick: Yes it does.
Matt: Okay.

Counting Shops

When you think about it. Shouldn’t the singular of a sheep be a shop? Shouldn’t one fish be a fosh?
You’re an idiot Steve.
You just don’t think outside of the box.
Swine.